SOUL MATTERS

The Spiritual Needs of Older People

Cathy Beer reports on a unique conference which looked at the care of the elderly from the point of view of their spiritual needs.

Britain, like the rest of Western Europe, has an ageing population, and our free market economy does not find it easy to accommodate those in our society who are apparently ‘non-productive’. One often senses that the old are regarded as a burden on society, and often they are treated as such, if some of the recent media reports on homes for the elderly are to be believed. On top of all this, the debate about euthanasia has come to the forefront.

But the elderly are simply the young of a few years ago, brothers and sisters with all the normal needs for love and care that the rest of us have.

‘Soul Matters’, a day conference organised by the New Humanity section of the Focolare Movement, brought together a wide variety of people, experts, carers and the elderly themselves, to offer some positive experiences and ideas on this very important subject.

‘A rich tapestry where love was the thread running through it all,’ was how someone described the day on the spiritual care of older people, held on 11 February at the Centre for Unity, Welwyn Garden City. Anne Horsman, a local GP, explained how the idea was born of an experience with her mother who had been suffering from dementia: ‘I was determined to do the things we had always done – meals out, church…. Her short-term memory was short indeed and I thought to myself “Why am I concerned about doing this? She won’t remember”. And then I heard in my mind: “But her soul knows”.’

The keynote speaker was Dr Flavia Caretta, a geriatrician and gerontologist from the Gemelli Hospital in Rome, who introduced the theme of the morning. ‘Spiritual needs, which generally become more intense in older people, can become “gifts” in the context of reciprocal relationships. In fact, when we take the initiative to build a relationship with another person, we must leave behind our own personal baggage so as to interest ourselves sincerely in the requirements, needs and expectations of the other person. In this way we live the “gift” of ourselves. The result is that we feel better, because love brings love, and burdens that are shared become lighter, while happiness increases and spreads. It is a spirit of fraternity that makes us come out of isolation and weave a network of relationships of esteem and solidarity in which every stage of life acquires a new understanding of its own beauty and at the same time of the beauty of the other.’

Other key speakers from a variety of organisations gave interesting and enlightening insights into the subject from their various angles:

Gerry Burke from Age Concern England, Kathleen Venting from Ascent, a Movement for older Christians and the Reverend Margaret Goodall, a Methodist minister with long experience of chaplaincy to people with severe dementia. Her presentation, ‘The Dreamcatcher - Holding the Spirituality of Those with Dementia’ began with a fascinating quiz which rectified a number of misconceptions about dementia and memory loss!

Amin Ullah Khan, Islamic co-ordinator for Welwyn Hatfield, presented the Islamic view of the spiritual care of older people, which for many people was something new, and Mr Tap Bali, a Trustee of local, county and regional voluntary and community organisations explained the Hindu perspective and opened up a brief question and answer session from the floor.

These two talks made us aware of how important it is for staff in hospitals or care homes to be aware of the spiritual needs of older people of different faiths, and this opened up in our minds the question of priorities in providing care of the whole person where resources and relevant training are limited.

Many participants were staff or managers in care homes, NHS staff, wardens of sheltered accommodation, social workers, researchers, members of faith-based organisations, and older people themselves.

Participants visited stands from various organizations on display.

Impressions

‘I found the morning a deeply moving experience. The speakers were very well placed to share their own perspective on such an emotive subject. It made me see my “mission” much clearer.’

‘Very inspiring to know that there are so many people with the same common goal. I was most impressed, having been initially uncertain of what I was coming to.’

‘A thought-provoking day which has filled me with enthusiasm for my relations with older people and has helped me to view the future with optimism.’

‘I would be very interested in asking one or two of the speakers, especially older people’s representatives, to come and speak to groups of nurses and nursing assistants at the hospital where I lead a project for older people.’

‘I was very interested in the cultural differences, particularly from the Muslim and Hindu experts on life. The multi-faith aspect made the congress so rich.’

‘The topics were so diverse, they all interested me and affected me deeply. The inclusion of speakers from other faiths was quite unique and I appreciated this particularly for their insights. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I feel it has been an unparalled privilege and experience. I would like to hear it all again!’

After lunch, to everyone’s surprise and some initial consternation (which was quickly allayed), we were invited to take off our shoes for a wake-up moment of ‘Movement to Music for the Over Sixties and Less Able People of all Ages’ facilitated by Jean Stubbs from Extend, an organisation which provides this type of exercise class. Everyone enjoyed toning up!

The day’s tapestry was amply interwoven with many life experiences ranging from personal experiences from elderly people themselves, to a Carers’ Forum, including younger carers’ relationships with people in care homes, illustrating what can and has been done on a practical and very personal level. It provided enlightening and often moving insights into ways that caring for the soul of an older person can be addressed, and also recognising what a wealth of wisdom and spirituality older people themselves have to give.

It seemed that the conference had opened up a can - not of worms, but of delights: new zest for action, many probing questions, exciting possibilities, areas of exploration, initiatives to discuss…. almost every participant left their contact details requesting an opportunity to follow up in more depth the areas that had been presented during the day: it seemed there was a real yearning to work together with like-minded people to bring more to the fore something that has possibly not been so specifically considered in some areas of care, that is, the spiritual needs of the older person.

One simple ‘method’ of taking care of the soul seemed to come to the surface in every presentation, in every experience, in common with all faiths and beliefs: that older people, like every human being, need someone beside them who loves them. And that personal love is the basis and the solution to all the practical issues - the starting point and the end point we want to reach.

Quotations:

‘Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.’ Confucius

‘Every age has its own beauty. Why be afraid of physical decline when the years bring deeper insight and greater gentleness of action?’ Br Roger Schütz of Taizé

‘The human soul does not know age.’ St Gregory Nazianzen

A sample of the many quotations on screen that welcomed the 200 participants into the meeting hall at the Focolare Centre for Unity in Welwyn Garden City on 11 February 2006

There were what someone called ‘spaces’ during the day, for example moments of reflection, classical guitar music, a poem, and a short mime entitled ‘The Five Seasons’ showing the development of the human being through the various stages of life and after-life.

The day ended with a reflection (a PowerPoint presentation) ‘Still More Beautiful’ taken from a meditation by Chiara Lubich.

Still More Beautiful – A Reflection by Chiara Lubich

Perhaps our eye is not accustomed to seeing beauty… or we see beauty only in certain aspects of human and natural life. For we have not trained the soul.

In God’s eyes, where is the greatest beauty? Is it in the child who looks at you with innocent eyes, so limpid and bright like the clarity of nature? Or in the young girl who glistens with the freshness of a newly-opened flower?

Or can beauty be seen rather in the wizened and white-haired old man, who is bent double, almost unable to do anything, perhaps only waiting for death?

In the same way, a grain of wheat appears so promising when, gathered together with the other grains, it awaits the time when it will ripen and be free, in the hand of the farmer or in the womb of the earth; it is beautiful and full of hope! That grain however, is also beautiful when, ripe at last, it is chosen from among the others to be buried underground.

There, shrivelling away, reduced almost to nothing, it decays and slowly dies. But this is when it gives life to a tiny plant, to other ears of wheat, to future generations of harvests. So perhaps that is when it is even more beautiful.

These various beauties are one more beautiful than the other. And the last is the most beautiful of all.
Does God see things in this way? Those wrinkles that furrow the old woman’s forehead, that stooped and shaky gait, those brief words full of experience and wisdom, that gentle look of a child and woman at the same time, is a beauty we do not easily see; it is like the grain of wheat that, by becoming less and less, is about to burst into new life, a life that is different from before, into new heavens.

I think God sees life like this……

from Meditations published by New City.

 

Anyone who is interested in finding out more about this subject or about New Humanity, please contact New City and it will be forwarded.