Imagine a World - Experiences

Central Hall Westminster, London - June 19th

The event was entitled: Imagine a World Enriched by Diversity and Chiara's talk addressed the question: "What future for a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-faith society?".

The following are some of the personal experiences shared on the day.

I’ve been asked to say a little bit about my experience as a young person seeking to live the gospel, and how for me this means entering into the world of politics. I’ll start with my days at University where, for the first year at least, I took full part in the fun and partying that goes on as a student. By the second year, however, it began to dawn on me that my life should really consist of more than parties so I began to get more involved with a student action group called ‘People and Planet’, a group which campaigns for social justice and the environment. I also began to deepen my Christian life and involved myself more in the activities of the young people of the Focolare.

As an enthusiastic and active member People and Planet I was soon approached and asked if I would consider standing for a position on the student union executive. Whilst the thought of it terrified me slightly I felt that this was my chance to stand up for all the things I believed in so passionately. So, alongside all the election slogans of "more free beer" and "bigger and better club nights" stood my "fair trade products to be sold in all union outlets and more recycling in Union bars". I was astounded when I got elected.

I was over the first hurdle, but I now had to take a step into the murky world of student politics. Whenever I felt afraid I just said to myself "God, you got me into this so you’re going to have to help me out", and I really trusted in that. The first meeting of the executive was an interesting experience. As a total newcomer I felt I should just sit and listen, I really felt like an outsider and nobody spoke to me or even said hello. The meeting was about the bars and various ideas on changes that were to be made. If I was going to put my campaign slogans into action I had to seize the moment. So, when asked if there was "any other business", I took the plunge and suggested that we work towards recycling all the bottles in the bars, and that we sell fair trade tea, coffee and chocolate in all union café’s. I had already worked on some contacts and suppliers, which I presented to the table. Everyone was stunned. Eventually somebody said – "my goodness, it’s remarkable to see someone actually staying true to their election promises" and everyone nodded in agreement round the table. I had broken the ice and had won their respect. By the next meeting I had already been asked if I would sit on the finance committee (apparently a great honour!), and by the time I left university every student union shop was selling the full range of fair trade produce, and all the café’s and bars were selling fair trade tea and coffee.

After leaving university I returned home to study postgraduate law. I toyed with the idea of becoming a journalist but something inside me pushed me towards law – it was pure instinct. I suppose I’ve always felt that if I want to change the laws under which we live I’ll have to study how they’re made. So I spent two years studying and have spent the last two years working towards qualifying as a solicitor. Again this has been a slight transition period. I work for a large commercial firm and at the beginning threw myself completely into the young professional lifestyle – drinks after work, out every Friday and Saturday, socialising, networking….but once again I reached the stage where it was just not enough. I once again felt this deep desire to do something more. So I joined my local Labour group and turned up to one of their meetings. This was last November.

Again I was walking into a totally new territory and it took a big step to actually make it to the first meeting. But I never looked back, and once I’d managed to speak up for some of the things I felt strongly about – the new recycling scheme that had been implemented, and the problems with student/resident relations, I was soon asked if I would stand as a candidate in the upcoming local elections. I was a bit taken aback at the request, but immediately said yes. And it has been an incredible experience and very challenging also.

I feel I’ve been challenged to stay true to my principles all along the way. When discussions turned to bitching about the other parties candidates I would be careful not to join in, and where possible would try to steer them onto a more positive level. I have always been careful to be honest in everything I have said and written – a lesson which I learned was most important when a libel suit was actually slapped on another member of my labour team. Most of all I have always sought to put the gospel into practice in everything that I do – to speak to everyone I meet with the same respect, no matter which party they represent, and to help out the other candidates whenever it has been needed, rather than simply looking to campaign for myself. And the response I have received has restored my faith in the political process. On the doorstep I have entered into discussions with the voters who have moaned and groaned and been totally negative. And I have tried to listen and to put myself in their shoes, without simply agreeing with everything they have to say. And by the end I have left on a positive note, and people have thanked me for calling by. Getting their votes, at the end of the day, has not been my priority, but building relationships and getting to know about their problems and needs.

I am the first born in a family of 5 children. I left my Rwanda in 1994, when I was 12 years old. My family was a happy one. We had a comfortable life. In 1994 however Rwanda was ravished by a civil war and our lives were turned upside down. Together with my family we fled and walked for months and months, slept in forests under heavy rains, passed dead bodies and saw many of our own people dying with hunger and disease. My mother was 8 months pregnant and my youngest sister was born in the middle of the forest. My family managed to survive even though later on we lost contact with our dad.

With our mother we struggled as refugees in several African countries for a few years. Eventually we managed to make our way to Tanzania and my mother was able to make some money from selling beans which she grew. She saved everything in order to send my sister and I to Europe. She knew this was our only chance.

This was, I think, the hardest moment in my life – leaving her behind not knowing where we would end up. My sister and I were refugees in Holland and during that time we met people from the Focolare Movement. They shared with us their life of Love and Unity and this brought back a smile to our faces. A very important moment for me was the week we spent with the Focolare at the summer gathering, the Mariapolis. We met people who cared about us, made us feel part of their family. I remember their love in lots of small things eg in letting me go first in the shower queue. There it felt like the world had no boundaries. During that week I was particularly struck by the idea of loving one another based on Jesus’ commandment: ‘Love one another as I have loved you’. This has stayed with me and has become the basis of my life.

Eventually, after 5 years in Holland, we found our mother again - in Britain. It was a moment of incredible joy but here in Britain, it wasn’t easy at first but I was able to continue my education and last year I started university. But to achieve this it was a struggle and I was aware that this kind of situation does not affect only me but all refugee young people especially when they just arrive and feel lost. It can seem at times as though life has no future. Many young people are discouraged to carry on with their education. Many of them don’t feel part of society. For the last few years I have been working to bring first of all Rwandan young people together – to pass on the skills I have learnt, to help them to integrate and above all to share with them my conviction that we can build a new society. Through our project we also try to challenge perceptions about refugees.

One thing I felt to be important was to keep alive our culture through music, dance and poetry. Together with others we have organised two festivals which have involved 200 young people from not just Rwanda but also Burundi, Somalia, Bangladesh, Latin America and so on. We organised a talent competition and gave prizes to the best singer, best dancers etc. Instead of young people hanging around on the streets all summer and feeling at a loss they became involved. They even managed to record a CD. This has been an incredibly enriching experience for all of us and we realise how much we have to give and how much we receive in return.

I want to use my life to bring about a world where there is harmony between people, where there is consideration for others. I am sure there is a better world for everyone if people live in love and unity.

(Latitia)
I’m Latitia and this is my husband Kurt. We’re from Northern Ireland. We have four of a family – 1 girl and 3 boys 11, 9, 6, 4 approx! I am a medical doctor, a GP and Kurt works as a Civil Servant. I was born in Donegal in the Republic of Ireland. We got married in 1992 and I moved to live In Northern Ireland. For over 2 years I worked in Fontem in the Cameroon with the Focolare. Adjusting to the culture of the tribes and their way of life was a big change from Ireland.

The challenge of living the Gospel - of making unity with people who were of different creeds, colour and tribes was ever present in Africa. The experience of Africa, a country so tangibly different had parallels to living in Northern Ireland - where on the surface people appear to have much in common. But are so deeply divided by politics, religion and culture. Divided by a conflict to an extent that so many have died, thousands maimed and everyone carries to varying degrees the cross and scars of suffering from over 30 years of what is known as The Troubles.

When I came to Northern Ireland I was aware; but from a safe distance, of what was happening. But in living there we experience on a daily basis the extent and depth of the division, the separation, the wounds of hurt that spread deep both within and between communities. People, families, communities, ordinary people have been in the grip of this turmoil now for decades. I came to live in a country district where the focal point of the village was on a definite interface where the territory of both communities ended or started. The division in the village, a very small place was a definite and visible casualty of the Troubles.

(Kurt)
We were married in July 1992 and in October 1994 we were asked to go to a local community meeting where there would be both Catholics and Protestants. The meeting supposedly was to get something for the young people particularly of the village. The village is small and consists of 160 houses. We have two pubs (one Catholic; one Protestant), 2 schools (One Catholic; one Protestant), 3 main Churches, a number of Gospel Halls and a number of other community and sporting Halls. A great diversity for such a small place. All of these buildings belong to one side or the other. None of them would freely be used by both sides. The road through the village creates an interface; where one community begins and the other ends. All through the Troubles of the past thirty years there was virtually no contact between the Catholics and Protestants. People did not mix. We were not fundamentally divided because of religious difference but due to the real and perceived allegiances over political difference-the Irish political problem.

(Latitia) Back to the meeting. This meeting was at the time when both the IRA and the loyalists were just embarking on their cease fires. It was an historic time with the main antagonists in the conflict indicating a change from what they had been pursuing over many years. It was a new dawn. It was a time of great hope. This indication of a new way was the political backdrop that enabled us to meet. Our local meeting in a sense too was historic. Here we had local people in the same room from the same place but who didn’t know each other. This was 1994 and I was new to the area. There were really two outsiders; I from the Republic of Ireland and an Englishman who worked in the area. On that night I was appointed secretary and the Englishman was selected as Chairman of a cross-community association. This election of us outsiders has often been reflected upon and in effect we had an ‘Anglo-Irish dimension’ to our new local community association. In a way they were saying we accept outsiders to help us. On the bigger political stage we in Northern Ireland have also been dependent on governments in London, Dublin, Europe, USA to help us re-build democracy, peace and reconciliation. Outside interests are needed to help break down the barriers created by generations of mistrust. Now coming to 10 years on; hundreds of meetings later I am still there as secretary. We have made great progress. Progress in terms of people accepting others. Progress in the physical appearance of our village. We, in the early days built a new play park for children and upgraded one that had been badly neglected – yes two play areas about 300metres apart. Testimony to the division of that time extended even into our play parks. Help also came from Anneka Rice during Anneka Challenge as she co-ordinated the beginning of a riverside park. Her blue Buggy, Pedro the Dog and the hype of it all was a great boast to our community. We built on the feel good factor created by her visit.

We set up clubs for the older people, programmes for the youth, training courses, tried each year to run a small community festival - a celebration of togetherness. We with a range of statutory and voluntary agencies started to address the physical neglect of the area. But we as people had to tackle the resignation, the resistance and apathy of local people. Generations who shared a belief and a resignation that things wouldn’t and couldn’t change . We strived to work on a vision for our community – one community. We have been able to access over £1m for projects – projects that are visible and make a positive impact; a visual reminder of what is possible. The money paid out may be a million but the energy, patience and sacrifices on top of that were not man made or given but God given.

Being part of a Movement that is working for inclusion and for unity transcends our human endeavours. We are in a practical way working out the belief in the Ideal – of where two or three are gathered in my name – there am I. It was at times tangible both when things went extraordinarily well or very badly to see the joy and the suffering of Christ in our work. Working to build a better community for everyone irrespective of political or religious difference was and is difficult work. Difficult in that on the bigger political canvass the prize of peace still eludes the great efforts of those with a greater political remit to help us find a way towards a better and shared Northern Ireland. Much progress has been made in our community and much progress has been made in the wider political arena of Northern Ireland. For all of that we thank God. Kurt mentioned all those community type buildings - Church halls, Orange lodges etc. Well we decided to build another one, one that Protestants and Catholics could both use.

(Kurt)
Yes, another community building would be a good idea –one for community use. Seemed logical and reasonable enough. And there was a derelict building in a wonderful location. But where did the suggestion come from – well from two politicians at different ends of the politic spectrum speaking privately to Latitia at a public meeting. Privately because they couldn’t be seen to be publicly speaking - never mind agreeing to a common proposition. We worked over 4 years to see that suggestion become a reality. There were many hurdles and obstacles to overcome. As the project was nearing completion in the Autumn of 2000 and a few weeks before the planned official opening of this new community facility we had our Catholic primary school petrol bombed in a sectarian attack. This was happening randomly across Northern Ireland. A lot of damage was done. As a result of our association with Protestants in the work we were doing we were almost being blamed and "shunned" by people of our own side. We felt a real sense of isolation and hurt. Our small community again had reverted in on itself, aligning itself along community divisions.

And then 2 weeks later there was another turn of events. There was a phone call at one o’clock in the night from the police to say that there was a fire in our community office. We live in the country. Latitia went into the village. I stayed with the four children.

(Latitia)
When I got there; there were police and the firemen but nobody else. People didn’t want to be seen, or to say anything or to be quoted as saying something. We were devastated. The next day the Press and TV cameras came and recorded a few lines and comments about the incident – an incident repeated thousands of times throughout communities in Northern Ireland.

The building which was rented was burnt to the ground. We lost all the documentation associated with hundreds of thousands of pounds of projects including our new community facility.

On the next morning, Prime Minister Tony Blair was in Northern Ireland doing his utmost at a different level to make politics work. We could have thrown in the towel. And the advice came freely from people who knew that working together would never work. Yet, when we reflected this was minor in the context of making politics work in Northern Ireland.

(Kurt)
This setback and the fear of what might happen was a reminder of the journey on a map to be made away from our conflict and division. Yet so many people in politics, community and Churches were battling; making progress and taking set-backs and more set-backs. But we were all working in a political context which was being created by the political goodwill and expertise of politicians beyond the shores of Ireland. People were willing us, all of us in Northern Ireland to move together forward. Europe had drawn up a diverse range of programmes specifically aimed at bringing peace and reconciliation. The political mix of London, Dublin, Belfast, the White House, Europe and diverse local political groupings in Northern Ireland were searching to build peace. The ending of shootings, bombings, deaths was not going to be peace. It had to be worked at by people in their everyday lives...

So the work on our new Centre continued. The opening would be delayed till this became old news. And work did progress and one year later we were almost ready to set a date.

Yes there was a problem. These new lamp posts for the street lighting were adorned with flags of one " political grouping" The contractor couldn’t paint them until they were removed. The problem was that nobody officially could remove them for fear of reprisals from that grouping. So it was over to us to see what could be done.

(Kurt)
We had built and established a fair degree of trust with some people on the other side - including personal contact with a few who we believed had influence with politically motivated activists. I knew somebody from the other side who might know. I kept putting it off. I would ask for his advice..

I met him. What I hadn’t bargained for was that just prior to meeting him he had received a letter containing a death threat from an opposing grouping. He was upset. This was Northern Ireland again in Peace times. I knew the circumstances through which his threat had developed. He was going to see the police, the press etc. We talked for a while about his situation.

My issue of the flags seemed less important. But I had to tell him why I was there. Basically I wanted permission for their removal . No, it wasn’t his decision. Who should I approach and would it be safe for me to approach them directly? He said he would contact "his source" and prepare the way for me. I wished him well. The next day his story was in the Press.

After a few days of contemplation and agonising I picked up the courage to go and seek permission.
Two days later all the flags were removed. There was no mention in minutes that it happened.
The flags came down, the new Centre was opened, the threat didn’t materialise and both sides are being drawn together.

(Latitia)
On holiday in Scotland last year we met a couple and their family from Northern Ireland. After a couple of days we got chatting. The usual "where are you from"? "do you know it". Ah I do—I did some work there. What do you work at. I’m a painter. Were you with the contractors who painted our building? No, I was the man who painted your new lampposts. The lampposts and the flags!! We told him our side of the story as we knew it and he told us his story. Just one of hundreds of times when we felt "someone" greater had a hand in bringing us together.

I live with my daughter who is 14, and my son who is 11. I have known the Focolare Movement and it’s spirituality for over 25 years now, and it is on this, that we try and base our everyday lives.

When my husband walked out on us just over 7 years ago now, it was both sudden and unexpected. Looking back, it was probably the most difficult experience of my life to date. I felt stunned, shocked, angry alone and empty, I had to hang on to the fact that God loved me immensely. It was that thought which got me through those first difficult days.

Soon however, I realized that I was facing an all or nothing situation. If I had chosen to base my life on the teachings of the Gospel, then I couldn’t live a type of ‘Pick and Mix’ Christianity. I couldn’t say to the children, ‘The Gospel teaches us to love everyone, but not him because he left us, or her, because he left us for her.’ Everyone really did have to mean everyone.

So I began to encourage the children to continue to build their own relationships based on love. It was a delicate situation, to love in a supernatural way, without condoning what had happened.

The situation was not easy. My ex-husband was dissuaded by his partner from seeing or contacting the children. She refused to spend time with them, while not allowing their father to see them either. However, love rises above these things. I was always so proud of my children when they came back from one of their rare visits to their dad, and shared with me how they had always tried to be the first to love.

Last December, Hugo cut his hand badly, and had to go in to hospital for plastic surgery, skin grafts etc. The children were naturally worried about him and wanted to go to visit him, which we did. We stayed longer than expected, and were still there when Anita, now his wife, arrived. We hadn’t seen each other, or said more than a strained hello for well over six years. I realised that the situation could be difficult, but tried only to love, talking about the accident, the traffic and other general topics until Hugo was taken down to theatre and we left.

About a week later, Hugo rang me to say that because of the operation on his hand, and the skin graft from his leg, he would not be able to come over and bring the children their Christmas presents as planned, and invited us to go over to their house instead. Somewhat surprised I agreed.
On the day, I was so worried about the journey and finding the house, that I didn’t really give much thought to what it would be like when we got there. It was only when walking into the house, that I realised that there is no real etiquette to tell you what to do when visiting your ex-husband and his wife, so decided that the only etiquette needed was that of love. Anita has two dogs that she adores. I am not an animal lover, but felt that to make a fuss of the dogs, was a way of making myself one with Anita. The children, Keith and Christina then exchanged Christmas presents, and while they went upstairs to play on the computer with their dad, I had the opportunity to sit and talk to Christina for about an hour, before she went and made us a magnificent tea. All in all, it was a good afternoon.

Since that day, things have completely changed. Christina no longer seems to resent the children, and is happy for Keith to have as much contact with them as he wants. The children no longer feel awkward when calling or visiting, and other family members can talk about them without the fear of provoking a negative reaction.

Love really does conquer all.

From my work I became involved with members of various refugee communities. However, in order to enter more deeply into their lives I understood that I needed to learn more about their religions and cultures.

I soon found myself in a different world. People came from many countries. The evidence of torture was all over their bodies. Many had epilepsy. Most had broken bones, often set badly. In many cases the scars were so deep that their bones could be seen. Some people had so much shrapnel in their bodies, that it became extremely cold in the winter. Sometimes it was so close to vital organs that it could not even be surgically removed. Many had no teeth as a result of either electric shocks or blows. Many were brain damaged from repeatedly being knocked unconscious and many were internally damaged from having to eat acidic food or from starvation, or from injuries or sexual torture.

Many had witnessed the savage massacre of their loved ones. Many did not to know where their family members were. Often when news of the murder of a relative would arrive, the tears would flow but there would be no funeral and no relatives to grieve with. In fact often in their own countries, there would equally be no service as often bodies were thrown into mass graves sometimes still alive. I began to arrange services for the dead according to their own faith whether Muslim, Sikh, Buddhist or Christian in order to help the relatives to say goodbye with dignity and to remember the dead.

Usually, the people that I see suffer from a condition called post traumatic stress disorder. This means that they have recurrent nightmares often three or four times a night. They also have lots of flashbacks, which means that they suddenly feel as if they are back again in that situation, which maybe one of imprisonment, torture chamber, a battle or a capture. They avoid anything, which reminds them of their trauma. Therefore, they become very frightened of loud noises, men in the uniforms, letters from the Home Office and anything else associated with their particular trauma, such as even a colour for example. Their inability to sleep adds to their health problems. It is well established that the health of refugees declines significantly within 2 years of coming here. They suffer from depression, fear, and worry about people at home and of course from physical illness.

In order to be able to speak with the people in a way that they’d understand, I found very beautiful passages from their own religions and cultures. For example, the manner in which Rumi describes death is a way that both Muslims and Sikhs can identify with. I as a Christian can also identify with this and so our dialogue is authentic. Also the style of the meditations is easier for people of similar backgrounds to comprehend and many people with abnormal bereavement reactions have been helped enormously. Similarly by identifying the African concept of an afterlife with their concepts of nature has helped us to understand each other. By knowing the cultural beliefs and religious books of others, solutions to mistaken beliefs about their own religions can be found without expecting people to accept alternative belief systems. It is not that I am a religious teacher but that false beliefs can cause or contribute to psychological blocks.

I have always found that people are reluctant to make the first move. They naturally assume that as a white person, I cannot know anything about their culture. But when I ask a question which indicates that I might understand, they usually respond very positively and begin to open about their beliefs. To give an example, one day I asked a Hindu woman where she thought her suffering came from. She was initially hesitant. Then I enquired, "Have you ever thought that it might come from a former life? "She immediately answered, "I have often wondered about that because I know that I have done nothing in this life to deserve it. " After discussing awhile, she then concluded that the suffering was God’s way of making her remember him.

In my experience, religion plays a huge part in the ability of refugees and asylum seekers to come to terms with what has happened to them and what they continue to live here in exile. In many cases, it gives people the courage to go on living with the fear of deportation. I often see a growing strength in those facing deportation, especially as they begin to believe that God will be their protection and their strength.

In trying to treat victims of torture, one of the ways that I tried to make myself one was by getting as much music from the different cultures as I could. In some cases, this really made a difference. For example Tamils are so severely tortured that it is almost impossible to get them to relax. However, I discovered that when they hear their own music they become so relaxed that they almost fall asleep and become much easier to treat. Some friends knew that I needed small tape recorders to assist in the treatment. They sent e-mails around their places of work and many people responded. In that way, some people who were too poor to afford even a Walkman where able to listen to music and to have their treatment put on tape.

Sometimes other people helped too. Once a man came to translate for me. He turned out to be quite a significant person in a Gurdwara in central London. When he asked what I needed I told him that I sometimes need services for the dead Sikhs who died in wars or atrocities. He immediately replied that that would be no problem. "And what else?" he asked. I replied that sometimes when benefits are cut off and people are not allowed to work, that they are hungry and need food. He not only offered the food of the Temple but even to have it brought to those who for cultural reasons might be too embarrassed to go into the Gurdwara. He even offered to help with rooms and translations. Other people offered the services of musicians and translators, at times even offering to write music that would assist treatment.

One thing that strikes me always is that, there is a resurrection. Often when I have thought that it would be impossible to treat certain people, I have been proved wrong. Again and again I have seen the smiles return and the nightmares and flashbacks vanish. Slowly, people begin to find hope again. It is rare to hear them speak of a desire for revenge. Many show a heroic acceptance of their lives. Many are so generous though they live in poverty.

It helps me to remember that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were refugees and that Jesus Himself died a victim of torture.